Today was day 14 of radiation. I was trying to celebrate yesterday as a "half-way" point (we really celebrate just about anything these days!), but was told that they may do a "boost" of radiation at my incision site when I am done, which would mean 5 to 8 more days. In the words of my friend Corea, fry, cancer, fry! We still celebrated, Sawyer style, on the trampoline. I am starting to get pink, and tight afterwards, so I stay lathered up, stretch and am wearing my compression sleeve quite a bit these days. Some days I think they are frying brain cells but we are surviving. I am tired, but what Momma isn't?
This afternoon I stopped by Bloom, one of my favorite new (to me) stores to pick up a birthday gift for a party this weekend. I noticed the lady's hair because I check out all short hair styles lately. It was cute, longer than mine, but still really short. When I walk up to check out, she says to me "I think you have inspired me to go shorter with my hair next time, I love your haircut."
Me, really? You are complimenting my "haircut?" She continues on to tell me about her past few haircuts and I was chuckling on the inside and finally shared with her that I had never had short hair before, this "haircut" was courtesy of chemo. By the look on her face, I could tell she was surprised. She didn't see me as a cancer patient, I clearly still think I have that look about me. Then it hit me. She REALLY WAS complimenting my hair. Get out! I am calling that my first real compliment on my short 'do style #1. Don't get me wrong, my family and friends say it looks good all the time, but come on, they aren't going to tell me what they really think! It could look like ca-ca on me and they would still compliment me. ;-)
At first I was chalking that encounter up to one of the many "awkward" cancer moments I've had, but after realizing that she really did like my short hair AND that I didn't look 'sick' to her, it made my day!
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Rinse and Repeat
Last week was a whirlwind, on the heels of Sawyer's 5th birthday party, I started radiation on Monday. Jason went with me for my first visit, and the countdown has begun. 20 more!
We have a rockstar parking pass, right outside the radiation oncology entrance and wait for it....it's FREE! Are you amazed?!?!? Parking and free in the same sentence! ;-)
I scan my card, and as long as the screen doesn't look like the picture, I walk to the women's dressing room, change my top half into a gown and then wait in a smaller waiting area. If I am accompanied by another lady, they may wait back there with me, but the gents have to wait in the main lobby.
The machine I use is called the 'artiste,' which is run by three sweet ladies. I get a warm blanket and a pillow under my knees, but my head has to be turned to the left and rests on a pretty hard surface. With arms over my head, I assume my position! They mark the area with paint markers, so the green and pink marks have made for interesting conversation with 3rd graders at school. I can't blame them because it looks like I have drawn all over myself! I explained that it was like a map for the doctors to use during my radiation and they were satisfied! Once I am set, they walk out, closing the door that looks like it should be on a vault! There I am, just me, a huge machine that makes lots of funny sounds and the big guy up above!
The machine doesn't run for long periods of time, one day I could see the screen and it would run for 2 seconds, then 3 seconds and then 6. There is one spot where it seems to run a good 20 or 30 seconds. It moves all around me, but from start to finish (me walking in the room, getting situated on the table, drawn on and then shut behind the huge door) it only takes about 20 minutes.
I never know what to expect until I get there! The machine may be on time, running late, or like Wednesday, it was completely out of commission! Friday's include a "status check" with Dr. Zagar.
All in all, it's not so bad! You sweet folks have been asking what you can do and you know us, we had to live it for a week to see what we might need help with. We always covet your prayers for safe travels, successful treatments, and energy to do it again the next day! Lori's been wanting a "Driving Miss Suzanne" calendar and I think it would be great! I drove myself two days this week and I can do it, but by Friday, I was wiped out and thankful to be a passenger! I will work on updating the care calendar with that info tomorrow. My appointments are at 2pm in Chapel Hill, so we try to leave the house by 1pm to give us plenty of time.
You all continue to bless us by covering us in prayer and supporting us every step of the way! We are forever grateful!
Now it's time to get ready to rinse and repeat for week 2!
We have a rockstar parking pass, right outside the radiation oncology entrance and wait for it....it's FREE! Are you amazed?!?!? Parking and free in the same sentence! ;-)
I scan my card, and as long as the screen doesn't look like the picture, I walk to the women's dressing room, change my top half into a gown and then wait in a smaller waiting area. If I am accompanied by another lady, they may wait back there with me, but the gents have to wait in the main lobby.
The machine I use is called the 'artiste,' which is run by three sweet ladies. I get a warm blanket and a pillow under my knees, but my head has to be turned to the left and rests on a pretty hard surface. With arms over my head, I assume my position! They mark the area with paint markers, so the green and pink marks have made for interesting conversation with 3rd graders at school. I can't blame them because it looks like I have drawn all over myself! I explained that it was like a map for the doctors to use during my radiation and they were satisfied! Once I am set, they walk out, closing the door that looks like it should be on a vault! There I am, just me, a huge machine that makes lots of funny sounds and the big guy up above!
The machine doesn't run for long periods of time, one day I could see the screen and it would run for 2 seconds, then 3 seconds and then 6. There is one spot where it seems to run a good 20 or 30 seconds. It moves all around me, but from start to finish (me walking in the room, getting situated on the table, drawn on and then shut behind the huge door) it only takes about 20 minutes.
I never know what to expect until I get there! The machine may be on time, running late, or like Wednesday, it was completely out of commission! Friday's include a "status check" with Dr. Zagar.
All in all, it's not so bad! You sweet folks have been asking what you can do and you know us, we had to live it for a week to see what we might need help with. We always covet your prayers for safe travels, successful treatments, and energy to do it again the next day! Lori's been wanting a "Driving Miss Suzanne" calendar and I think it would be great! I drove myself two days this week and I can do it, but by Friday, I was wiped out and thankful to be a passenger! I will work on updating the care calendar with that info tomorrow. My appointments are at 2pm in Chapel Hill, so we try to leave the house by 1pm to give us plenty of time.
You all continue to bless us by covering us in prayer and supporting us every step of the way! We are forever grateful!
Now it's time to get ready to rinse and repeat for week 2!
Friday, September 7, 2012
My fight song
There are several posts churning in my head, but I will start with today and hopefully before Christmas, I will have time to recap recovery, tissue expanders and the emotional roller coaster I am riding! ;-)
Life is good and God is Great! I am back at school (half a day everyday), Sawyer is back in playschool, Jason is burning it at both ends, and we are attempting to get our groove back! If you know me well, you know I fly by the seat of my pants and a routine, well that isn't really how we roll! Oh but we are putting on our skates because radiation (and kindergarten) are coming and we've got to figure this out!
My CT Simulation was today (the same day Jason was having fluid taken off his knee and was being given a cortisone shot). It turned out to be quite the adventure. I was in the machine, it did it's thing, I came out of the machine. In walks Dr. Zagar, with his big smile and bow-tie, to tell me that I will need to be deflated on my left side in order for that tissue to not be in the way of radiation and potentially damaged. Since they are the experts, I get dressed and go back out into the waiting room and wait for my plastic surgery nurse to come down. Sue arrives, they find us a room and out comes the saline they have been expanding me with over the last 4 weeks. Have I mentioned this is tinted saline, Carolina blue! LOVE that! Back to the situation, I get dressed again, go back out in the waiting room, then back into the CT machine. It does it's thing again and then I come back out to see the nurse who says, "we have to take out more." At this point I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry! I wanted to cry because this was taking forever, I cannot stand being in machines (which this one isn't bad, so I shouldn't complain) and it, for a moment, seemed like we were moving backwards, not to mention one girl is perky, one is now deflated! :-( Instead, I laughed and became the the center of the circus show! To keep me from getting dressed, finding another room, and repeating the above scenario, Sue came in and took out more saline while I was in the CT room with an audience! I laugh because the folks seemed fascinated and asked lots of questions. I am sure they see lots of ladies with tissue expanders, but perhaps never see them being expanded or in my case deflated! (See, there is another post because it is pretty fascinating!) While still attached to tubing, just in case they needed to take out more, I go back IN the machine to come OUT to smiles saying we are finally finished! A little lopsided, but ready for Dr. Zagar to map out my radiation!
I go back next Friday for X-rays, then Monday, September 17 the countdown will start! 25 days until it's my turn to hit the gong! After chemo they sing and clap, after radiation you hit the gong. Today walking out of my over 3 hour tour of radiation, I see a nice gentlemen taking his celebratory whack at the gong, but then all of the sudden comes the UNC fight song from two members of the band! AWESOME!! Doubting I am considered a important enough alumni to receive that special treatment, but oh well, it was fun to watch and be reminded that we are oh so close to our turn! If the room was big enough, I would take you all with me to celebrate, but as long as these two (check out my new favorite picture, wherever it may be) are by my side, my fight song is playing in my heart!
**Our computer bit the dust last weekend, so overlook any errors and auto-corrects that were courtesy of my iPhone.
Life is good and God is Great! I am back at school (half a day everyday), Sawyer is back in playschool, Jason is burning it at both ends, and we are attempting to get our groove back! If you know me well, you know I fly by the seat of my pants and a routine, well that isn't really how we roll! Oh but we are putting on our skates because radiation (and kindergarten) are coming and we've got to figure this out!
My CT Simulation was today (the same day Jason was having fluid taken off his knee and was being given a cortisone shot). It turned out to be quite the adventure. I was in the machine, it did it's thing, I came out of the machine. In walks Dr. Zagar, with his big smile and bow-tie, to tell me that I will need to be deflated on my left side in order for that tissue to not be in the way of radiation and potentially damaged. Since they are the experts, I get dressed and go back out into the waiting room and wait for my plastic surgery nurse to come down. Sue arrives, they find us a room and out comes the saline they have been expanding me with over the last 4 weeks. Have I mentioned this is tinted saline, Carolina blue! LOVE that! Back to the situation, I get dressed again, go back out in the waiting room, then back into the CT machine. It does it's thing again and then I come back out to see the nurse who says, "we have to take out more." At this point I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry! I wanted to cry because this was taking forever, I cannot stand being in machines (which this one isn't bad, so I shouldn't complain) and it, for a moment, seemed like we were moving backwards, not to mention one girl is perky, one is now deflated! :-( Instead, I laughed and became the the center of the circus show! To keep me from getting dressed, finding another room, and repeating the above scenario, Sue came in and took out more saline while I was in the CT room with an audience! I laugh because the folks seemed fascinated and asked lots of questions. I am sure they see lots of ladies with tissue expanders, but perhaps never see them being expanded or in my case deflated! (See, there is another post because it is pretty fascinating!) While still attached to tubing, just in case they needed to take out more, I go back IN the machine to come OUT to smiles saying we are finally finished! A little lopsided, but ready for Dr. Zagar to map out my radiation!
I go back next Friday for X-rays, then Monday, September 17 the countdown will start! 25 days until it's my turn to hit the gong! After chemo they sing and clap, after radiation you hit the gong. Today walking out of my over 3 hour tour of radiation, I see a nice gentlemen taking his celebratory whack at the gong, but then all of the sudden comes the UNC fight song from two members of the band! AWESOME!! Doubting I am considered a important enough alumni to receive that special treatment, but oh well, it was fun to watch and be reminded that we are oh so close to our turn! If the room was big enough, I would take you all with me to celebrate, but as long as these two (check out my new favorite picture, wherever it may be) are by my side, my fight song is playing in my heart!
**Our computer bit the dust last weekend, so overlook any errors and auto-corrects that were courtesy of my iPhone.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Let my words be few...
The lyrics to that song, one of my favorites, have been playing over and over again in my head ever since my phone rang yesterday afternoon and my surgeon was calling with my pathology report.
No cancer in my left breast (which we knew, but still removed because I am a BRCA 2 carrier).
No residual cancer in my right breast, it had completely responded to treatment!
Only 1 of the 26 lymph nodes removed had residual cancer and it was 1.8mm!
Prayers have been answered and the God we serve reminds me once again how good He is, all the time!
I stand in awe!
**There are lots of folks who sing the song, my favorite is Phillips, Craig & Dean!
Friday, July 27, 2012
God's Promises
As my sweet sister left the hospital tonight, this is what she saw over the Cancer Hospital at UNC.
A rainbow:
"When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth."
Genesis 9:16
Does anyone else see the cloud shaped like the letter 'S' to the right of the rainbow? Well, I do and it's just another reminder of how awesome our God is! He held me in His hands yesterday as a blanket of prayers from my family and friends covered every inch of me. God is good, all the time and I am forever grateful for your love, support and prayers!
Today was full of naps, physical therapy exercises, and pain meds. I finally felt like eating around lunch time and walked around the 6th floor. I am extremely sore, but was able to tackle my PT exercises and am now catching some of the Opening Ceremony for the Olympics.
Our hope is to be checked out by lunch time tomorrow! Everyone here has been wonderful, but there is no place like home!
A rainbow:
"When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth."
Genesis 9:16
Does anyone else see the cloud shaped like the letter 'S' to the right of the rainbow? Well, I do and it's just another reminder of how awesome our God is! He held me in His hands yesterday as a blanket of prayers from my family and friends covered every inch of me. God is good, all the time and I am forever grateful for your love, support and prayers!
Today was full of naps, physical therapy exercises, and pain meds. I finally felt like eating around lunch time and walked around the 6th floor. I am extremely sore, but was able to tackle my PT exercises and am now catching some of the Opening Ceremony for the Olympics.
Our hope is to be checked out by lunch time tomorrow! Everyone here has been wonderful, but there is no place like home!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
"There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart."
We celebrate that surgery is over, and when we visited with Suzanne just over an hour ago, we were greeted with that same beautiful smile. She was even having a little apple sauce. She is not in a room yet, but things look good. We appreciate your continual prayers. Jason, Sharron, David and Kelly
Thursday, July 19, 2012
It's time to say ta ta...
to the ta-ta's!
YES...surgery is scheduled for July 26. I will get a phone call on the 25th telling me what time to arrive. I went for my pre-care visit yesterday and everything is set.
I will be having a bilateral mastectomy, a lymph node dissection on my right side only, and then tissue expanders placed by the plastic surgeon. I will stay in the hospital for two nights and then we will head home to let the healing begin.
Am I anxious and afraid? Of course I am and I could let my mind run wild, but instead I choose to keep my faith and trust in the Lord! He has reminded me in so many ways, sometimes more than once a day, that I don't have to worry about tomorrow, much less surgery a week from today. From phone calls and cards, to devotions and strangers who offer a hug and prayers, I continue to see God at work all around me and I am blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people!
I am claiming and clinging to God's word today and in the days to come.
"See, God has come to save me! I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord is my strenghth and song; he is my salvation." Isaiah 12:2
"O my people, trust him all the time. Pour our your longings before him, for he can help!" Psalms 62:8
Dear friends please continue to lift me up, as well as my doctors and my family (because I'll admit, I am not a good patient).
I do promise to be better at keeping you posted after surgery, just disregard anything I say that may be out of character! I hear I'll be getting some pretty good pain meds! :-)
YES...surgery is scheduled for July 26. I will get a phone call on the 25th telling me what time to arrive. I went for my pre-care visit yesterday and everything is set.
I will be having a bilateral mastectomy, a lymph node dissection on my right side only, and then tissue expanders placed by the plastic surgeon. I will stay in the hospital for two nights and then we will head home to let the healing begin.
Am I anxious and afraid? Of course I am and I could let my mind run wild, but instead I choose to keep my faith and trust in the Lord! He has reminded me in so many ways, sometimes more than once a day, that I don't have to worry about tomorrow, much less surgery a week from today. From phone calls and cards, to devotions and strangers who offer a hug and prayers, I continue to see God at work all around me and I am blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people!
I am claiming and clinging to God's word today and in the days to come.
"See, God has come to save me! I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord is my strenghth and song; he is my salvation." Isaiah 12:2
"O my people, trust him all the time. Pour our your longings before him, for he can help!" Psalms 62:8
Dear friends please continue to lift me up, as well as my doctors and my family (because I'll admit, I am not a good patient).
I do promise to be better at keeping you posted after surgery, just disregard anything I say that may be out of character! I hear I'll be getting some pretty good pain meds! :-)
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