Thursday, November 22, 2012

Step One


November is officially over. Only by a couple hours as I am awake in the middle of the night, perhaps because Sawyer just randomly woke up, walked into the bathroom and picked up the hand soap, or because there is something on my heart. I know the latter is the real reason, but can we also hope my child is not starting a new sleepwalking trend. :-)

All month long, I wanted to sit down and write my 'thankful for..." post and well, you can see it didn't happen. Then I started to feel guilty, like I missed my only opportunity to do it. Alas, I am wide awake at 3:00am on December 1st, catching up on my devotions (car duty REALLY throws this girl off), deleting the 50 "cyber Monday" emails I didn't even open, checking in on my blogger friends, and inquiring on the Times News site to find out what time the parade starts in the morning, when I stumble upon a column written by J. Mark Fox that reminds me of this important truth:

"The word says these three things are the will of God for you who are in Christ Jesus: Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances."

To me, that was a nudge from the Big Guy saying, "Suzanne, it doesn't matter that you didn't post this on Thanksgiving, you can do it anytime!"

Mr. Fox goes on to give three steps to developing a heart of thanksgiving.

1. Make a list of the top ten things or people on your "I am thankful for" list.

2. Thank God for each one of your top ten.

3. Tell the people on your list how much you are thankful for them. They need to hear it. We need to say it.

So friends, since I love lists and can't seem to get anything done without them lately, I will use Mr. Fox's approach to tackle sharing with you, my heart of Thanksgiving.

Step One:

My Top Ten
1. My Almighty God
2. My boys
3. My family
4. My church family
5. My friends, old and new
6. My Roadrunner Rockers
7. My Facebook friends
8. My sisters in pink
9. My Cheerleaders
10. My new normal

The list could go on and on and in my heart it wilI, but for now I have completed step one and I have some long overdue thank you's to write. My plan is to dedicate a post to each of my top ten. I would like to say it will all happen in 10 days, but the reality is, it won't! I do hope you'll keep checking back because if you read this blog then you are a part of my top ten and since I am almost a year behind on actual thank you cards, I hope you'll accept my thank you blogs in the mean time.

**So after publishing this, I noticed that it says November 22, not sure what is going on. It is in fact December 1 and since I have already confessed to not posting on Thanksgiving, I will stick with my story! :-)

Friday, November 9, 2012

8 months or 243 days...

either way I look at it, it flew by! 

Sawyer was with me to whack the gong on October 22!  
He LOVED it!
Then my boys took me out to dinner to celebrate.

Silly Sawyer wouldn't open his eyes (we tried 3 pictures).
 
It was when I went to bed that night that I realized it was the 22nd, eight months to the day after I first heard the words 'breast cancer.'   I was awake that night thinking about the date, which to me was God's perfect timing, and all the good that had come from those 2 little words.    


*Having my first, second, and last EVER mammogram
*Going  from 1 doctor to now having a medical oncologist, a radiation oncologist, a surgeon, a plastic surgeon and even a gynecological oncologist who have all been a perfect fit for us
*8 chemo infusions which equated to lots of quality time with Jason, my Mom, Kelly and Mo and a whole list of folks who came to hang out with me on the days following
*2 "currently being expanded, soon-to-be-new" girls and 26 less lymph nodes and I honestly can't complain one bit about not having to wear a bra (I know, TMI as some would say, but we celebrate the little things around here)
*25 radiation treatments which meant LOTS of time in the car, but I got to spend that time either with good friends or singing at the top of my lungs to K-Love
*well over 60 meals all cooked by friends and family members, each delicious and appreciated more than you'll ever know
*243 cards, if not more (I have them all, but never counted them), because for a while I know I got at least 3 every day
*hundreds of phone calls, text messages, emails, and Facebook posts all of which I have saved (just like the cards) to pull out and read whenever I want
*more prayers than I can count from those I know and from those that I've never even met

This list could go on and on, don't get me wrong, those 2 words changed everything and I still get physically ill when I hear of someone going down the same path, but I honestly can't look back without seeing all the kindness, love, generosity and faith that surrounded us and think, it wasn't all bad!  We've come a long way in 243 days and I couldn't have done it without each and every one of you.  I am thankful to have all treatments behind me (even if there are a few more decisions to make), a little hair on my head just in time for cold weather, and the HOPE and FUTURE that comes from our amazing God!

"There is unlimited grace, mercy, forgiveness, healing and newness of life for anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord.  So, keep pressing on in the journey to which God has called you." 
Doug Fields
Homeward's Daily Devotional

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Me, really?

Today was day 14 of radiation.  I was trying to celebrate yesterday as a "half-way" point  (we really celebrate just about anything these days!), but was told that they may do a "boost" of radiation at my incision site when I am done, which would mean 5 to 8 more days.  In the words of my friend Corea, fry, cancer, fry! We still celebrated, Sawyer style, on the trampoline.   I am starting to get pink, and tight afterwards, so I stay lathered up, stretch and am wearing my compression sleeve quite a bit these days.  Some days I think they are frying brain cells but we are surviving.  I am tired, but what Momma isn't?

This afternoon I stopped by Bloom, one of my favorite new (to me) stores to pick up a birthday gift for a party this weekend.  I noticed the lady's hair because I check out all short hair styles lately.  It was cute, longer than mine, but still really short. When I walk up to check out, she says to me "I think you have inspired me to go shorter with my hair next time, I love your haircut." 

Me, really? You are complimenting my "haircut?"  She continues on to tell me about her past few haircuts and I was chuckling on the inside and finally shared with her that I had never had short hair before, this "haircut" was courtesy of chemo.  By the look on her face, I could tell she was surprised. She didn't see me as a cancer patient, I clearly still think I have that look about me. Then it hit me.   She REALLY WAS complimenting my hair.  Get out! I am calling that my first real compliment on my short 'do style #1.  Don't get me wrong, my family and friends say it looks good all the time, but come on, they aren't going to tell me what they really think!  It could look like ca-ca on me and they would still compliment me. ;-) 

At first I was chalking that encounter up to one of the many "awkward" cancer moments I've had, but after realizing that she really did like my short hair AND that I didn't look 'sick' to her, it made my day!  

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Rinse and Repeat

Last week was a whirlwind, on the heels of Sawyer's 5th birthday party, I started radiation on Monday. Jason went with me for my first visit, and the countdown has begun. 20 more!

We have a rockstar parking pass, right outside the radiation oncology entrance and wait for it....it's FREE! Are you amazed?!?!? Parking and free in the same sentence! ;-)

I scan my card, and as long as the screen doesn't look like the picture, I walk to the women's dressing room, change my top half into a gown and then wait in a smaller waiting area. If I am accompanied by another lady, they may wait back there with me, but the gents have to wait in the main lobby.

The machine I use is called the 'artiste,' which is run by three sweet ladies. I get a warm blanket and a pillow under my knees, but my head has to be turned to the left and rests on a pretty hard surface. With arms over my head, I assume my position! They mark the area with paint markers, so the green and pink marks have made for interesting conversation with 3rd graders at school. I can't blame them because it looks like I have drawn all over myself! I explained that it was like a map for the doctors to use during my radiation and they were satisfied! Once I am set, they walk out, closing the door that looks like it should be on a vault! There I am, just me, a huge machine that makes lots of funny sounds and the big guy up above!

The machine doesn't run for long periods of time, one day I could see the screen and it would run for 2 seconds, then 3 seconds and then 6. There is one spot where it seems to run a good 20 or 30 seconds. It moves all around me, but from start to finish (me walking in the room, getting situated on the table, drawn on and then shut behind the huge door) it only takes about 20 minutes.

I never know what to expect until I get there! The machine may be on time, running late, or like Wednesday, it was completely out of commission! Friday's include a "status check" with Dr. Zagar.

All in all, it's not so bad! You sweet folks have been asking what you can do and you know us, we had to live it for a week to see what we might need help with. We always covet your prayers for safe travels, successful treatments, and energy to do it again the next day! Lori's been wanting a "Driving Miss Suzanne" calendar and I think it would be great! I drove myself two days this week and I can do it, but by Friday, I was wiped out and thankful to be a passenger! I will work on updating the care calendar with that info tomorrow. My appointments are at 2pm in Chapel Hill, so we try to leave the house by 1pm to give us plenty of time.

You all continue to bless us by covering us in prayer and supporting us every step of the way! We are forever grateful!

Now it's time to get ready to rinse and repeat for week 2!

Friday, September 7, 2012

My fight song

There are several posts churning in my head, but I will start with today and hopefully before Christmas, I will have time to recap recovery, tissue expanders and the emotional roller coaster I am riding! ;-)

Life is good and God is Great! I am back at school (half a day everyday), Sawyer is back in playschool, Jason is burning it at both ends, and we are attempting to get our groove back! If you know me well, you know I fly by the seat of my pants and a routine, well that isn't really how we roll! Oh but we are putting on our skates because radiation (and kindergarten) are coming and we've got to figure this out!

My CT Simulation was today (the same day Jason was having fluid taken off his knee and was being given a cortisone shot). It turned out to be quite the adventure. I was in the machine, it did it's thing, I came out of the machine. In walks Dr. Zagar, with his big smile and bow-tie, to tell me that I will need to be deflated on my left side in order for that tissue to not be in the way of radiation and potentially damaged. Since they are the experts, I get dressed and go back out into the waiting room and wait for my plastic surgery nurse to come down. Sue arrives, they find us a room and out comes the saline they have been expanding me with over the last 4 weeks. Have I mentioned this is tinted saline, Carolina blue! LOVE that! Back to the situation, I get dressed again, go back out in the waiting room, then back into the CT machine. It does it's thing again and then I come back out to see the nurse who says, "we have to take out more." At this point I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh or cry! I wanted to cry because this was taking forever, I cannot stand being in machines (which this one isn't bad, so I shouldn't complain) and it, for a moment, seemed like we were moving backwards, not to mention one girl is perky, one is now deflated! :-( Instead, I laughed and became the the center of the circus show! To keep me from getting dressed, finding another room, and repeating the above scenario, Sue came in and took out more saline while I was in the CT room with an audience! I laugh because the folks seemed fascinated and asked lots of questions. I am sure they see lots of ladies with tissue expanders, but perhaps never see them being expanded or in my case deflated! (See, there is another post because it is pretty fascinating!) While still attached to tubing, just in case they needed to take out more, I go back IN the machine to come OUT to smiles saying we are finally finished! A little lopsided, but ready for Dr. Zagar to map out my radiation!

I go back next Friday for X-rays, then Monday, September 17 the countdown will start! 25 days until it's my turn to hit the gong! After chemo they sing and clap, after radiation you hit the gong. Today walking out of my over 3 hour tour of radiation, I see a nice gentlemen taking his celebratory whack at the gong, but then all of the sudden comes the UNC fight song from two members of the band! AWESOME!! Doubting I am considered a important enough alumni to receive that special treatment, but oh well, it was fun to watch and be reminded that we are oh so close to our turn! If the room was big enough, I would take you all with me to celebrate, but as long as these two (check out my new favorite picture, wherever it may be) are by my side, my fight song is playing in my heart!


**Our computer bit the dust last weekend, so overlook any errors and auto-corrects that were courtesy of my iPhone.






Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Let my words be few...


The lyrics to that song, one of my favorites,  have been playing over and over again in my head ever since my phone rang yesterday afternoon and my surgeon was calling with my pathology report.

No cancer in my left breast (which we knew, but still removed because I am a BRCA 2 carrier).
No residual cancer in my right breast, it had completely responded to treatment!
Only 1 of the 26 lymph nodes removed had residual cancer and it was 1.8mm!

Prayers have been answered and the God we serve reminds me once again how good He is, all the time!

I stand in awe!


**There are lots of folks who sing the song, my favorite is Phillips, Craig & Dean!




  

Friday, July 27, 2012

God's Promises

As my sweet sister left the hospital tonight, this is what she saw over the Cancer Hospital at UNC.

A rainbow:

"When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll see it and remember the eternal covenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth."
Genesis 9:16

Does anyone else see the cloud shaped like the letter 'S' to the right of the rainbow? Well, I do and it's just another reminder of how awesome our God is! He held me in His hands yesterday as a blanket of prayers from my family and friends covered every inch of me. God is good, all the time and I am forever grateful for your love, support and prayers!

Today was full of naps, physical therapy exercises, and pain meds. I finally felt like eating around lunch time and walked around the 6th floor. I am extremely sore, but was able to tackle my PT exercises and am now catching some of the Opening Ceremony for the Olympics.

Our hope is to be checked out by lunch time tomorrow! Everyone here has been wonderful, but there is no place like home!



Thursday, July 26, 2012

"There shall be eternal summer in the grateful heart."

We celebrate that surgery is over, and when we visited with Suzanne just over an hour ago, we were greeted with that same beautiful smile. She was even having a little apple sauce. She is not in a room yet, but things look good. We appreciate your continual prayers. Jason, Sharron, David and Kelly

Thursday, July 19, 2012

It's time to say ta ta...

to the ta-ta's!

YES...surgery is scheduled for July 26.  I will get a phone call on the 25th telling me what time to arrive.  I went for my pre-care visit yesterday and everything is set.

I will be having a bilateral mastectomy, a lymph node dissection on my right side only, and then tissue expanders placed by the plastic surgeon.  I will stay in the hospital for two nights and then we will head home to let the healing begin.   

Am I anxious and afraid?  Of course I am and I could let my mind run wild, but instead I choose to keep my faith and trust in the Lord!  He has reminded me in so many ways, sometimes more than once a day, that I don't have to worry about tomorrow, much less surgery a week from today. From phone calls and cards, to devotions and strangers who offer a hug and prayers, I continue to see God at work all around me and I am blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people!

I am claiming and clinging to God's word today and in the days to come. 

"See, God has come to save me!  I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord is my strenghth and song; he is my salvation."      Isaiah 12:2

"O my people, trust him all the time.  Pour our your longings before him, for he can help!"     Psalms 62:8

Dear friends please continue to lift me up, as well as my doctors and my family (because I'll admit, I am not a good patient).

I do promise to be better at keeping you posted after surgery, just disregard anything I say that may be out of character! I hear I'll be getting some pretty good pain meds! :-)

Monday, June 25, 2012

Maybe, just maybe...

I am not even sure exactly when it happened, but at some point during the last week, my sweet little boy ran up to me, grabbed my head with both his hands, pulled it close for inspection and with great enthusiasm said, "Mommy, your hair is growing back!"

If you have seen me lately, I look the same as this picture taken a couple weeks ago! The scene above really just made us all chuckle and when people have inquired about my hair and when it might start growing back, I tell them most emphatically that Sawyer says it already is!

One thing is for sure though, if there was anyone who has paid close attention to my bald head from the start and would notice any change, it would be Sawyer! Of course he helped us shave it, but since then he has rubbed it constantly, ripped my hat off to proudly show it off, smacked it, kissed it, and told me a zillion times that he "loves me even though I don't have any hair!"

I have to admit, as I tossed and turned last night to get comfy in bed, I noticed I am starting to make a scratching sound on my pillow AND tonight in the shower it definitely felt scratchy all over instead of just some spots. I don't think just looking anyone would notice, but maybe, just maybe...

My sweet Sawyer is right!




*I typed this post using the blogger app on my iPhone, so I have no idea how it will look and where the photo I added will be, but I had to give it a try sometime!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The same, but different

I woke up, got dressed, went down to eat breakfast and read my devotional, just the same as I do every morning, even on chemo mornings, but today was different.  There was a pep in my step and to quote Larry the Cable Guy, I was ready to "get 'er done!"  I was even more ready for the day after reading the first paragraph for June 18 in Jesus Calling:

YOU ARE MY BELOVED CHILD.  I chose you before the foundation of the world, to walk with Me along paths designed uniquely for you.  Concentrate on keeping in step with Me, instead of trying to anticipate My plans for you.  If you trust that My plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, you can relax and enjoy the present moment. 

Wow, so amazing to be reminded, yet again, that my awesome God walks with me where ever I go, even down paths I may have never thought I would travel, but ones that were designed uniquely for me!  And out pops Jeremiah 29:11 again with the reminder that if I trust God's word, I can RELAX and ENJOY all that today has to offer!  God is good, all the time!

So, there may have been a pep in my step, but motivating Jason to get going was the SAME as always!  My sweet man is NOT a morning person, he wants to wake up 5 minutes before time to leave, he doesn't eat breakfast right away, and he doesn't have much to say!  It always makes me smile to think about how different he and I can be in so many ways, yet it makes us perfect for one another! 

We fly to the front of the Cancer Hospital, where Jason drops me off at 8:35 for an 8:30 appointment and I still have to check in!  I'll let you decide if that's the same or different! ;-)   The same sweet lady runs down my appointments for the day, hands me my number and tells me to watch the screen for my turn to visit the registration desk.  The registration process is one that makes me chuckle, I guess I feel like I should have earned a frequent flyer card for being there every other Monday for 4 months and they should know that:

Yes, my address, my home number, my cell number and my birth date are the SAME!
Yes, my insurance is the same!
Yes, I have a port!
Yes, I know the hospital's billing procedures!

Oh well, I know everyone has their procedures, so I just politely answered their questions and waited patiently as they filled out paper after paper for my 3 appointments. 

Accessing my port was first, and the same sweet lady greeted me at the door with hugs.  Shelly was my favorite and it always made my day when I saw her smiling face.  Today was different though, that may very well have been the last time my port was accessed.  I am hoping my port will be taken out during surgery (I've been instructed to ask my surgeon if he will do that, so I don't have to go back again to have it removed).  Don't get me wrong, I LOVED my port!  It did make life much easier for chemo purposes, there was no need for an IV each time (we all know that some folks have that skill and some folks don't) and there was no burning,  My reasons for wanting it out ASAP are simple, it's something in my body that is not supposed to be there and I have a rough and tough four year old who has to be sick and tired of me saying "be easy, watch Mommy's port" because frankly, I am sick of saying it and I am ready to get this body back to normal!

Once my port has been accessed and my blood has been drawn, I am off to visit my doctor.  Each time I go, they check my weight, height, blood pressure, temperature, oxygen level, etc.  So this time was much the same, one thing that was very different was my blood pressure!  My first visit back in March had the nurses in a tizzy, they said to me "Honey, is your blood pressure always this high?"  My response was, "No, but I think I'm allowed to have high blood pressure, I am 30 and was just diagnosed with breast cancer and today is my very first chemo treatment!"  Needless to say, they moved on and said nothing else about my blood pressure.  This time my blood pressure was normal and nothing was even mentioned.  What a difference it makes when it's your first treatment versus your LAST! 

Today we saw the nurse practitioner, Anna Kate, since Dr. Muss was on vacation.  We have seen her several times and we really like her.  Jason commented on the fact that she always hugs me too, which you know I love, I'm a hugger! But there's also that personal connection, that they remember me, they've gotten to know me, they are on my team!  This visit was much the same, a review of how my last treatment went, an exam, all my questions, and then came the different part, the realization that visiting my oncologist will be a part of the rest of my life!  But this is my path and there is someone bigger than I, walking with me today and every day!

Although we were a few minutes late, today everything timed out perfectly and we hit infusion with only 2 folks ahead of us to be seated.  We ended up in chair 47, which was a private room!  I agree with Mo and will call it "rock star treatment!"  You have more room, the TV is at a much better location, so Jason enjoyed the "American Picker's" marathon, and we even cut the lights out for my nap!  Took the same amount of time and even had one of the same nurses we've had before, but today was different!  It was MY turn for the celebration and song!  I'm not sure that I wrote about this, but we had just sat down for my first treatment, high blood pressure and all, and sweet Patty with the flower in her hair was giving us the run down and all the sudden we hear clapping and noise makers and then they break out in song, "For she's a jolly good fellow..." Someone had just finished their last chemo!  Don't get me wrong, I was happy for them, but hearing that and just sitting down for my first, made the road seem long, would I ever get to hear that song?  Well, guess what folks?  I did!  Oh, what a sweet, sweet moment!

Friends, you have loved and prayed me through phase 1 of this journey and I thank you with my whole heart! Tomorrow marks the beginning of phase 2, as we meet with the surgeons and set a date for surgery.  I know there will be lots of information coming my way, so my posse will be there with me, to listen, ask questions, take notes, and hold me together! :-) 

 I just have to remember, what's on the inside that makes me who I am, will remain the same, but the outside will just look a little different and different is not always bad, right?


Monday, June 4, 2012

Then there was one...

I can't even go to sleep tonight, I'm still awake, praising my awesome God, my Redeemer, and my Healer!  I have only one more chemo treatment left and part one of this journey will be complete.  When I heard eight treatments, one every other Monday, that was four months.  It seemed like such a long time, but those four months have flown by and the end of chemo is in sight! 

This is a busy time of the year with lots of fun things to be a part of and we haven't missed a beat, or at least we try not to, but I'll admit, I'm tired, my energy level is not what it normally is.  My favorite phrase has become, "I pooped out and couldn't finish (fill in the blank)" to which my four year old replies, "Mommy, you need to go the potty?"  Well, that same sweet four year old is causing some mental and emotional exhaustion as well.  He is 100% boy, no longer interested in napping, obsessed with Power Rangers, wants to do everything on his own and be a "big boy," but still longs to be "Mommy's baby" all at the same time.  He is "lawyering" (as we call it) at me one minute, but then rubbing my bald head telling me he loves me and that I'm pretty, the next!  There is just never a dull moment around here and I have no doubt he'll continue to keep me on my toes all summer!  

Part two of this journey will be surgery.  This was a topic I didn't want to think about, much less talk about for quite a while, but like everything else, God has given me the courage and strength I need to be ready to walk down this path as well. My last chemo is scheduled for June 18.  I have three appointments every chemo day, labs, oncologist, and then infusion.  I am also scheduled for another mammogram on the 18th.  Even though I just had one at the beginning of May, they want a more current one for the surgeons.  I am hoping to receive a phone call by the end of the week confirming an appointment with my surgeon and plastic surgeon for June 20.  This will hopefully mean a definite date for surgery on my calendar!  I do know I have to wait 3 weeks after my last chemo before I can have surgery.  So that puts us in the middle of July for sure, but we hope to squeeze in a family trip or two before surgery, so I think it will work out perfectly!

I had tucked my big girl panties away after my liver MRI, but I pulled them out again today and for about 30 minutes (before that darn benadryl kicked in and knocked me out) I looked up information about a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery.  I was quickly reminded why I don't often look things up on my own!  There is WAY to much information out there and for those of you who know me well, know that I like the experts to explain it to me in person, in black and white!  I am now at least familiar with the options, but I covet your prayers as we make those decisions in the coming weeks and as we prepare Sawyer for my surgery,  hospital stay and recovery.  

So, for now, I will take my last expensive shot tomorrow, finish up the school year next week, remember why I love being a teacher, and party on the 18th because...

then there was one!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Bye-Bye Blue Bowl

My chemo treatment was moved from Monday to Tuesday this week.  I considered it one of the many "God Things" that have happened over the past several months because it allowed me to spend Monday with my dear friend Mo, on what happened to be her birthday! 

Jason and I scheduled this treatment early because it would be my first time receiving Taxol.  My first AC treatment ended up being late in the day and walking out of the hospital at 6:30pm, when all my doctors are gone, with something given the nickname "The Red Devil" running through my bloodstream made me a little uneasy that night!  Needless to say, we didn't mind leaving at 6:45am to make a 7:30am appointment this time! 

I'll be honest and say that I had heard all the Taxol horror stories, so there was definitely some anxiety floating around, but I pulled out a few verses that I cling too often!


Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4: 6-7
NIV 

I think it was a little after 10am by the time we were escorted to Chair 27, by another breast cancer survivor, I might add, which I always love to meet!  My pre-meds changed a little this time, I still took a steroid (which I had taken during the AC treatments), but added benedryl and pepcid (which would hopefully help with any possible reactions).  An hour of fluids is always a must, and this time the pharmacist came by to chat since it was my first Taxol.  My advice to others in my shoes, if you are like me and should never read the fine print that comes with any medication you pick up from the pharmacy, then stop the pharmacist in her tracks and let her explain it all to whoever is with you!   I clearly didn't think fast enough to do that, so I sat and listened as she told me that if I was to have a reaction, it would happen within the first 15 minutes.  I was to push the nurses call button if I felt any lower back pain, chest pain, or shortness of breath, or if I started itching or feeling a warm flush come over my body.  Oh dear, DO NOT tell Suzanne stuff like that!  Ask Jason, he seriously takes away all information stapled to prescriptions so I can not read them.  Oh well, the show must go on, and I just kept clinging to my scripture and praying and we made it through 15 minutes with no problems!  It wasn't long until the benedryl kicked in and I took a little nap!  But with my tag-team of company (thanks Mo and Jason), who knows how many trips to the bathroom, and my nap, the time passed pretty quickly and by 3pm we were heading out the door with the first Taxol behind us and only 3 treatments left!  When I walked in with 4 left, it merely felt like we were still halfway, but walking out with 5 down and only 3 to go, we are officially on the downhill slide now! YIPEE!  

The list of side effects also changed with Taxol and I think I might get to leave what feels like my own personal pharmacy in the cabinet for a while.   Taxol's biggest side-effects are body aches and neuropathy.  Did you read that?!?!?!  No nausea!  I was honestly still waiting for the nausea to hit on the car ride home today and it never did!  The benedryl really did make me sleepy, so I took about an hour and a half nap when I got home, but I woke up and couldn't believe myself.  I honestly felt like I hadn't even had a chemo treatment!  A typical afternoon following AC treatment consisted of me snuggled up in the corner of the couch downstairs with a tall glass of lemonade (only because I can't stand to drink plain water anymore, but I am trying to just squeeze fresh lemons in my water now and ditch all the sugar lemonade has) and my blue bowl was never out of reach.  I never got sick and had to use my blue bowl, but I always felt on the verge.   So today was an amazing feeling!  I know tomorrow may be different and the aches may come, but I will just be thankful that for now I can say bye-bye to the blue bowl!   

Can't stop smiling, for so many reasons

Smile #1 has been on my face since April 29th!  Remember the "Sweets Festival" I told you about?  Well, are you ready for this?!?!?!?!

We raised $2,500 for Relay For Life!  

Amazing is the word that comes to mind to describe that night.  The love and generosity that was in that room not only brought a smile, it still brings tears to my eyes as I type this!  Thank you to everyone who came out to support a cause that is now very near and dear to my heart!  

*If you would like to walk or donate, search for Suzanne Sharpe or Friendship UMC in the purple Donate Box on the right hand side when you visit  Relay for Life.

 Smile #2 came Friday when my latest mammogram and ultrasound measured the lump in my right girl at HALF the size it was in February!  Praise the Lord!

Smile #3 was this past Saturday night at the "Festival of Tables" hosted by the ladies at Mt. Pleasant UMC.  Any night I get to spend with all the Shoffner girls in one place, brings a smile to my face!  They had it all: beautifully decorated tables, delicious food, great entertainment, and Rene Neff, a breast cancer survivor who was there to share her journey with us.  She's an amazing woman of God with an inspiring story to tell.  So thankful our paths crossed!  Thank you Lori Lynn, for treating me to a wonderful evening!

Smile #4 came Sunday night as I celebrated my 31st birthday!  It wasn't my actual birthday, but since my Mom was making all MY favorites, we waited because I wanted to feel my best and be ready to eat my banana pudding birthday request!  

I guess all the American Cancer Society packets that arrive at my house reading "The Official Sponsor of Birthdays" are getting to me a little because there was something a little sweeter about this birthday!  

Smile #5 arrived at my house Monday, on her birthday, and all the way from Virginia--my buddy Mo!  Time to talk, eat, and shop (without our little people, even though we love them so) was such a treat and just to have my dear friend near me was good for my soul! 

 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

It's Official...

I am a slack blogger!!!  That's what you were thinking right?!?!??!

NO, that's just the obvious, I have THREE exciting things I wanted to share! 

#1--We are doing the HALF-WAY dance!!  Yesterday was my last AC chemo infusion day! May 7th I will switch to Taxol for the last 4.  It's just a great feeling to say 4 down and 4 more to go!!

#2--For those of you not on Facebook, I failed to share some exciting news from my April 9th, Dr. Muss visit.  He had been out of town the visit before, so I hadn't seen him in a month and his first question was "Suzanne, have you felt any difference in your right side?"   Honestly, I had obsessed over feeling this lump for several months as I decided whether or not it was still there, if it came and went, increased or decreased in size, and when I found out it was CANCER, the need to feel it ended then and there!  But something over Easter weekend changed, I had for the first time since February 22, when I heard the words Breast Cancer, checked the lump and I couldn't feel it!  Well, talk about making a man stop in his tracks!  I am examined each and every appointment, but we normally talk about the previous treatment for a while, then do the exam and then he's always gracious to answer my list of questions, but once he heard that, we skipped right to the exam.  Dr. Muss said, "I can't resist, let me take a look!"  I wasn't surprised by his reaction because I myself had found the lump and when I couldn't feel it, I knew something was up!  Then I heard words that I will hold with me forever, "Suzanne, this is INCREDIBLE!  IT IS DRAMATICALLY SMALLER!"   Praise the Lord for answered prayers and for my friends and family who are the best Prayer Warriors a girl could ask for!!

#3--It's official...I have signed up to walk in the Relay for Life of Alamance County!  Two sweet high school gals at my church started in team in honor of Cancer Survivors at our church and I was touched! This has all happened since February, so unlike some teams that have been fundraising all year, we will do the best we can in the time we have left!  But those of you who know me well, know that I do last minute well, hence I just registered last Friday! :-)   Everybody has to start somewhere and I consider this our jumping off point...so as I type this, the countdown on the Relay website says, 23 days 20 hours and 50 minutes, so READY, SET, GO!!!

If you are interested, here are the ways you can help and support a cause that is now near and dear to my heart!

1.  Join our team and walk with us on Friday, May 18th. Our team name is Friendship UMC and Henry Swanzey is our team captain.  Check out this link   Relay for Life of Alamance County

2.  Make a donation to a team member or directly to our team, it's all going towards the same goal!  You can use the same link above. 

3.  Join us for a 

 Sweets Festival

When:  Sunday, April 29th

Where:  Friendship UMC Fellowship Hall

Time: Tasting begins at 6:00pm

Auction to benefit Relay for Life begins at 7:00pm

Let me tell you how this works!  You pay $4.00 to come in and taste as many of the desserts as you'd like.  There will be a coffee bar, drinks and other snacks available as well.  You will get a chance to vote on your favorite dessert and prizes will be given to the top 3 bakers!  After all votes are cast and tasting is complete, the auction will begin.  You will have the chance to bid on your favorites and take a whole dessert home with you!  So, join us for a night of good "sweets" and good fellowship, all to support a great cause!  


**If you have any questions about it, please don't hesitate to email  me.