As promised, for all you sweet, generous folks who want to help, a care calendar has been set up! Also, as promised, we are going to say, "Yes, that would be great!" If I try to argue, just remind me! :-)
Katherine Durham is our care coordinator, friend, and secretary at our church who would be able to help our friends at church who don't have access to a computer. My understanding of it is that you would log-in using the following information, select a way you would like to help and fill in necessary information! Hopefully it will be easy to use and will be a great way to keep us all organized!
Care Calendar
Once on this page, right under the daisy, you will see a yellow box to log in to a calendar.
Our calendar ID is 107586
Our security code is 3639
Since my chemo weeks are the worst, that is when we would most appreciate help, with meals, with light housework, and with visits when I don't like to be alone! Thank you to everyone who has already blessed us with help in so many ways!
**Just in case my link didn't work, the address is www.carecalendar.org
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Praise the Lord
Monday morning started early with a 7:30am lab appointment. Since this was the first time my port would be accessed, it took quite a while, but I think I am already in love with my power port! We saw Dr. Irvin, since sweet Dr. Muss was on a cruise! I gave Dr. Irvin a quick "hello, nice to meet you, do you have my MRI results?" We could tell he didn't know about that, no fault of his own, he quickly looked it up and said "oh, liver looked great." Well, in my mind, he read it a little too quickly, so I asked him to read it to me again and slowly, "Liver has a normal appearance, etc, etc, etc." Liver and normal were all I needed to hear to throw my hands in the air and Praise the Lord!
We tweaked a few meds to hopefully make this week post-chemo go a little smoother. We wrapped it up pretty quickly and headed up to infusion. Chair 27 this week, sweet Patty got us started again and then Stephanie took care of us the rest of the day! All in all it was smooth sailing. The port made it much more comfortable, no burning, my arms were free to move, it was just great!
I felt pretty good for the first part of the afternoon, but then it hit with the on and off headache and nausea for the rest of the night! Lucky for me it came and went, which allowed me to visit with some sweet friends who brought us several meals to keep our fridge stocked this week! Thank you sweet Sandie, Laurie and Mary Louise, for the delicious food and the visit!
Friends, I can't thank you enough for your prayers and support. Last week was an emotional roller coaster when I heard the news about my liver MRI, much like the past month has been since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. There have been times when I have been so overwhelmed, I felt I didn't even have the words to pray, so please know how much comfort I have felt knowing so many friends and family members have been lifting me up! I am blessed beyond measure by your love, support and prayers!
We tweaked a few meds to hopefully make this week post-chemo go a little smoother. We wrapped it up pretty quickly and headed up to infusion. Chair 27 this week, sweet Patty got us started again and then Stephanie took care of us the rest of the day! All in all it was smooth sailing. The port made it much more comfortable, no burning, my arms were free to move, it was just great!
I felt pretty good for the first part of the afternoon, but then it hit with the on and off headache and nausea for the rest of the night! Lucky for me it came and went, which allowed me to visit with some sweet friends who brought us several meals to keep our fridge stocked this week! Thank you sweet Sandie, Laurie and Mary Louise, for the delicious food and the visit!
Friends, I can't thank you enough for your prayers and support. Last week was an emotional roller coaster when I heard the news about my liver MRI, much like the past month has been since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. There have been times when I have been so overwhelmed, I felt I didn't even have the words to pray, so please know how much comfort I have felt knowing so many friends and family members have been lifting me up! I am blessed beyond measure by your love, support and prayers!
Thursday, March 22, 2012
9 Days, 2 Corners, and 1 Awesome God
9 days have passed since I last posted and I honestly just had to read my own blog to remember what I said. I was cracking up because I know that I sat at my bar that morning after chemo and typed, but I remembered NOTHING!! Does that tell you a little about last week?? Luckily, I never had to use the bowl that sat near my bed, but felt on the verge more times than I could count each day. Headaches came and went just as often, and naps were a must, sometimes twice in one day! I had to make myself eat, especially in the mornings! I felt I had two choices, eat and feel the same way or eat and feel better. The important thing to remember is that I survived round 1!
2 corners were turned! I turned the first corner on Monday, a week after my first treatment, I felt 'normal' again! For that, I was thankful for several reasons! Chemo is not fun, but at least I know that I will feel better for a while before it's time to do it again. It was just GREAT to feel normal again!! I actually washed clothes, made it to soccer practice, went out in public and was just plain NORMAL! For the most part, our activities resumed to normal schedule. I don't know if I can put my finger on exactly when the second corner was turned, but I am getting a lot better at saying "YES, that would great" to the many offers of help we are receiving. Asking for and receiving help was hard for several reasons. Asking for help means I have to-- get ready for it-- ADMIT that I can't do all the things that I normally do. I guess it's just one of those hard things that has come with my diagnosis, just like writing down on a paper that I have breast cancer, it's just hard to do! It was also hard to know what help we needed to ask for and would like to receive until we experienced exactly how a chemo treatment would impact everything and everyone. So, with one under our belt, we know what would be helpful and we are ready to say YES!
We are in the process of setting up a "Care Calendar" that will allow friends and family to sign up to bring meals, hang out with me on those days I don't want to be alone, play with Sawyer, clean, run errands and drive me to appointments. This will be a long journey, so the needs may change after surgery and definitely during radiation, when I will have an appointment in Chapel Hill every day of the week for 5 to 6 weeks. It's in the works, but will be linked from my blog, as soon as it's ready!
1 Awesome God is at work in my life! I hit my knees in praise of Him daily! On Monday morning, I received an email from a co-worker who is a sister in pink and 7 year survivor of Breast Cancer. Another day, it's a text message of encouragement from someone fighting this fight right along side me. I praise God for this sisterhood of women that my path has already crossed with, that without the words Breast and Cancer, I would never have met!
Friends, today (I think it's after midnight) I will put on my "big girl panties" and head to Chapel Hill to take care of a little more business. At 9:00am, I will have a port placed and at 1:30pm I will slide back in that tight place with the C-R-A-Z-Y sounds for a Liver MRI. On Tuesday, the news that there was a spot on my liver that the doctors wanted to "clear" and that it would mean another MRI, rocked my world, but one thing is for sure, that same, awesome God I mentioned before, has reminded me this week, in so many ways, each and every day, that He knows all, that He is in control, and that He works everything for His children's good!
2 corners were turned! I turned the first corner on Monday, a week after my first treatment, I felt 'normal' again! For that, I was thankful for several reasons! Chemo is not fun, but at least I know that I will feel better for a while before it's time to do it again. It was just GREAT to feel normal again!! I actually washed clothes, made it to soccer practice, went out in public and was just plain NORMAL! For the most part, our activities resumed to normal schedule. I don't know if I can put my finger on exactly when the second corner was turned, but I am getting a lot better at saying "YES, that would great" to the many offers of help we are receiving. Asking for and receiving help was hard for several reasons. Asking for help means I have to-- get ready for it-- ADMIT that I can't do all the things that I normally do. I guess it's just one of those hard things that has come with my diagnosis, just like writing down on a paper that I have breast cancer, it's just hard to do! It was also hard to know what help we needed to ask for and would like to receive until we experienced exactly how a chemo treatment would impact everything and everyone. So, with one under our belt, we know what would be helpful and we are ready to say YES!
We are in the process of setting up a "Care Calendar" that will allow friends and family to sign up to bring meals, hang out with me on those days I don't want to be alone, play with Sawyer, clean, run errands and drive me to appointments. This will be a long journey, so the needs may change after surgery and definitely during radiation, when I will have an appointment in Chapel Hill every day of the week for 5 to 6 weeks. It's in the works, but will be linked from my blog, as soon as it's ready!
1 Awesome God is at work in my life! I hit my knees in praise of Him daily! On Monday morning, I received an email from a co-worker who is a sister in pink and 7 year survivor of Breast Cancer. Another day, it's a text message of encouragement from someone fighting this fight right along side me. I praise God for this sisterhood of women that my path has already crossed with, that without the words Breast and Cancer, I would never have met!
Friends, today (I think it's after midnight) I will put on my "big girl panties" and head to Chapel Hill to take care of a little more business. At 9:00am, I will have a port placed and at 1:30pm I will slide back in that tight place with the C-R-A-Z-Y sounds for a Liver MRI. On Tuesday, the news that there was a spot on my liver that the doctors wanted to "clear" and that it would mean another MRI, rocked my world, but one thing is for sure, that same, awesome God I mentioned before, has reminded me this week, in so many ways, each and every day, that He knows all, that He is in control, and that He works everything for His children's good!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Chair 27, Chair 29 and Chair 43
Chair 27 was where my infusion was scheduled to take place at 12:30. I was too busy getting an IV put in, signing up for research studies (just one, not two like they asked), and getting hugs and kisses on the cheek from sweet Dr. Muss! Needless to say, we were late getting upstairs to infusion! Now the room was packed, and we were handed a beeper (we kind of felt like we were at Outback) and told we could go get something to eat. The wait would be at least 30 minutes for a chair. This really turned out to be a good thing. We had arrived at 11:15 am and knew infusion would take several hours, so off to find some lunch we went. Those sweet Smith girls walked over to say hello and offer hugs and support before my first treatment began. Lori came bearing a bag of yummy chocolate covered snack goodness! DELICIOUS!
Chair 29 was the chair I sat down in to let the healing begin! Super sweet Patty was my nurse, with a flower in her hair, and a constant smile on her face. A fluid drip for an hour, then 30 minutes of pre-meds, and I was ready for trip #1 to the bathroom. Well, at the same time, since we were nearing 4 pm, they were clustering all infusion folks together in one spot, so we packed up and moved our stuff.
Chair 43 was where I landed and finished the before chemo meds. At the end of the meds, my IV started burning, so out with IV #1 and in with IV #2. Jerome was great at it, so I can't complain, but let's be honest, even when they are good at it, it still hurts a bit. Lucky for me it lasted just long enough to get both my chemo meds in before it started burning again and would have had to be replaced with IV #3. The first chemo med was Adriamycin, the one that just so happens to really make you embrace the color pink....in the bathroom! :-) Sweet Nurse "Ch" (I don't want to misspell it, so when I find it out, I will fix it) had to push the Adriamycin in through two syringes. She sat with Jason and me and talked like we had known each other for years. She shared with us lots of information about a port, because although I had been leery of one before, after my second IV went in today, I was starting to think I wanted one. The last chemo drug was Cytoxan, and it dripped in over an hour and "Ch" was kind enough to tell me that it would give a sinus headache feeling, and sure enough it did. It made my head feel numb and my nose didn't get stuffy, it just burned! The Pilot episode of "The Big Bang Theory" kept us smiling and laughing though (thanks Kelly for loading those on the Ipad and for letting us borrow it)! Around 6:30 we were walking out with Infusion #1 behind us, a Starbucks smoothie in hand and even a piece of coffee cake! Didn't end up drinking or eating much, started feeling sick in the car. We came home and ate something and then I landed on the couch for the rest of the evening.
Lots of different feelings: nausea for sure, to the point I couldn't keep my head off the pillow, a tingling head, which was by far the weirdest feeling, I wanted Jason close by, but I didn't want anyone touching me. All in all, it could have been worse, but it wasn't and it went away pretty quickly to only come back in spurts during the night. Slept well, thanks to my parents for staying with Jason and I, and to GiGi and Pappy for letting Sawyer sleep over. That way, every one got a good's night sleep, I hope! :-)
The highlights of my first infusion day:
*Reading my devotional, you know that same one that I read every morning, and it reminding me to keep my eyes on God! This was the same scripture that Mrs. Faye quoted me a few days ago, and it really stuck in my mind, so when you see things twice like that, to me, it's just another sign from God that everything is going to be just fine!
*Kisses from Sawyer and the faith of my four year old. Every time we have talked with him about Mommy going to the hospital to get medicine or to have a test, his response is "God will take care you, Mommy!" He's asked no questions, just emphatically said the same thing during each conversation. I love this boy!
*Sweet Doctors and Nurses who told me everything to expect, so I wouldn't be surprised during or after treatment and who even save me cell numbers to call them on, if I needed to them!
*My best buddy right beside me all the way, knowing right when to put his hand on mine and knowing right when to just scoot near me, but not touch! ;-)
*Loving friends and family, who called, texted, or stopped by to check on us! I know I say it all the time, but you folks have no idea what that does for me! I am blessed by all my cheerleaders!
Friends, I am so blessed and thankful to have one behind me. All the unknowns are gone, well, maybe not the inevitable "when will Suzanne be completely bald;" but who cares, it will grow back and in the mean time I'll sport some cute hats, wraps and even a buff! (Can't wait to see what color Mo and Rob picked out for me! Too sweet!)
One thing I know for certain is this. Sunday night, Sawyer and I were reading The Berenstain Bears Easter Storybook (Thanks Eric, Tonya and Lofton). Of course, this is the story of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and all I could think about that night was that in fact my Jesus did that for ME, and I will never experience the suffering that He did. Chemo will be tough, but nothing like that. But I pray that I will somehow be able to help further His Kingdom through my experiences with Breast Cancer.
Chair 29 was the chair I sat down in to let the healing begin! Super sweet Patty was my nurse, with a flower in her hair, and a constant smile on her face. A fluid drip for an hour, then 30 minutes of pre-meds, and I was ready for trip #1 to the bathroom. Well, at the same time, since we were nearing 4 pm, they were clustering all infusion folks together in one spot, so we packed up and moved our stuff.
Chair 43 was where I landed and finished the before chemo meds. At the end of the meds, my IV started burning, so out with IV #1 and in with IV #2. Jerome was great at it, so I can't complain, but let's be honest, even when they are good at it, it still hurts a bit. Lucky for me it lasted just long enough to get both my chemo meds in before it started burning again and would have had to be replaced with IV #3. The first chemo med was Adriamycin, the one that just so happens to really make you embrace the color pink....in the bathroom! :-) Sweet Nurse "Ch" (I don't want to misspell it, so when I find it out, I will fix it) had to push the Adriamycin in through two syringes. She sat with Jason and me and talked like we had known each other for years. She shared with us lots of information about a port, because although I had been leery of one before, after my second IV went in today, I was starting to think I wanted one. The last chemo drug was Cytoxan, and it dripped in over an hour and "Ch" was kind enough to tell me that it would give a sinus headache feeling, and sure enough it did. It made my head feel numb and my nose didn't get stuffy, it just burned! The Pilot episode of "The Big Bang Theory" kept us smiling and laughing though (thanks Kelly for loading those on the Ipad and for letting us borrow it)! Around 6:30 we were walking out with Infusion #1 behind us, a Starbucks smoothie in hand and even a piece of coffee cake! Didn't end up drinking or eating much, started feeling sick in the car. We came home and ate something and then I landed on the couch for the rest of the evening.
Lots of different feelings: nausea for sure, to the point I couldn't keep my head off the pillow, a tingling head, which was by far the weirdest feeling, I wanted Jason close by, but I didn't want anyone touching me. All in all, it could have been worse, but it wasn't and it went away pretty quickly to only come back in spurts during the night. Slept well, thanks to my parents for staying with Jason and I, and to GiGi and Pappy for letting Sawyer sleep over. That way, every one got a good's night sleep, I hope! :-)
The highlights of my first infusion day:
*Reading my devotional, you know that same one that I read every morning, and it reminding me to keep my eyes on God! This was the same scripture that Mrs. Faye quoted me a few days ago, and it really stuck in my mind, so when you see things twice like that, to me, it's just another sign from God that everything is going to be just fine!
*Kisses from Sawyer and the faith of my four year old. Every time we have talked with him about Mommy going to the hospital to get medicine or to have a test, his response is "God will take care you, Mommy!" He's asked no questions, just emphatically said the same thing during each conversation. I love this boy!
*Sweet Doctors and Nurses who told me everything to expect, so I wouldn't be surprised during or after treatment and who even save me cell numbers to call them on, if I needed to them!
*My best buddy right beside me all the way, knowing right when to put his hand on mine and knowing right when to just scoot near me, but not touch! ;-)
*Loving friends and family, who called, texted, or stopped by to check on us! I know I say it all the time, but you folks have no idea what that does for me! I am blessed by all my cheerleaders!
Friends, I am so blessed and thankful to have one behind me. All the unknowns are gone, well, maybe not the inevitable "when will Suzanne be completely bald;" but who cares, it will grow back and in the mean time I'll sport some cute hats, wraps and even a buff! (Can't wait to see what color Mo and Rob picked out for me! Too sweet!)
One thing I know for certain is this. Sunday night, Sawyer and I were reading The Berenstain Bears Easter Storybook (Thanks Eric, Tonya and Lofton). Of course, this is the story of Jesus dying on the cross for our sins and all I could think about that night was that in fact my Jesus did that for ME, and I will never experience the suffering that He did. Chemo will be tough, but nothing like that. But I pray that I will somehow be able to help further His Kingdom through my experiences with Breast Cancer.
Monday, March 12, 2012
MRI, WOW, & UNC
The week of tests ended Thursday with a breast MRI. The tight space wasn't so bad, thankfully I was facing down, so it didn't really bother me. Then the noises begin and WOW! I am not sure that anything could have prepared me for that.
These were just a few of the thoughts running through my head:
It started with,
*Is the machine malfunctioning?
*Am I still going to be in Chapel Hill when this turns off?
*What is this doing to my body and my brain?
*Really, somebody thought I might be able to fall asleep in here?!?!?
Then once it stopped a few times and the noises changed, I knew I wasn't on the moon, so I tried to make a grocery list in my head and plan meals for the weekend. I even thought I was finished when the tech walked back into the room, but she was just putting something else in my IV. Here come the noises again and the longer I stayed in there, the more the machine started talking to me, just like my breast pump used to in the middle of the night! I know some of you understand this! The same sounds over and over, finally starts to sound like it's saying a word or phrase to you! I know, CRAZY, but finally it was over and although I felt like I vibrated for several hours afterwards, I survived it!
After a drive through campus and a tasty supper at Elmo's Diner in Carrboro (with my favorite date), I think I was more convinced than ever before that UNC is the place to BE!
Everyone is different, everyone's breast cancer diagnosis is different, everyone's treatment plan is different, everyone's side effects are different and for those differences, I am THANKFUL! Many ladies have walked this road before me and have done it with amazing grace and style and although everyone's path may have looked different, the ONE thing that matters is that they reached the other side of this a SURVIVOR!
My journey to become a survivor begins today, Monday, March 12, 2012.
The song that seems to be playing in my head this morning, is from Third Day:
Part of "Mountain of God"
"Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God"
These were just a few of the thoughts running through my head:
It started with,
*Is the machine malfunctioning?
*Am I still going to be in Chapel Hill when this turns off?
*What is this doing to my body and my brain?
*Really, somebody thought I might be able to fall asleep in here?!?!?
Then once it stopped a few times and the noises changed, I knew I wasn't on the moon, so I tried to make a grocery list in my head and plan meals for the weekend. I even thought I was finished when the tech walked back into the room, but she was just putting something else in my IV. Here come the noises again and the longer I stayed in there, the more the machine started talking to me, just like my breast pump used to in the middle of the night! I know some of you understand this! The same sounds over and over, finally starts to sound like it's saying a word or phrase to you! I know, CRAZY, but finally it was over and although I felt like I vibrated for several hours afterwards, I survived it!
After a drive through campus and a tasty supper at Elmo's Diner in Carrboro (with my favorite date), I think I was more convinced than ever before that UNC is the place to BE!
Everyone is different, everyone's breast cancer diagnosis is different, everyone's treatment plan is different, everyone's side effects are different and for those differences, I am THANKFUL! Many ladies have walked this road before me and have done it with amazing grace and style and although everyone's path may have looked different, the ONE thing that matters is that they reached the other side of this a SURVIVOR!
My journey to become a survivor begins today, Monday, March 12, 2012.
The song that seems to be playing in my head this morning, is from Third Day:
Part of "Mountain of God"
"Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God"
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Tight places and familiar faces
I guess I am still a kid at heart because this morning, I literally tried to check myself into the Children's Clinic at UNC! Thankfully, there were two sweet ladies who came by to check on folks waiting and pointed us in the right direction. In my defense, they told me to register at the Children's Hosptial, so I went to the first sign that said "Children's!" I also think the thoughts of machines and tight places had my mind preoccupied!
Within two minutes of sitting down (at the correct registration desk), we saw a familiar face! Heather, a friend from high school, is standing in front of us with the same smile that I always remember her having! It turns out that Heather would be doing my PET scan and was sweet enough to meet us for my MUGA scan, so she could be the one to put the IV in my arm. I am still PRAISING God for sending Heather, a familiar face, to me today! I can't even begin to tell you what a difference it made in my day! I was able to ask all my silly questions (and not feel so silly), Heather walked us through everything, never skipping a detail, and I knew I was in the best hands possible!
The MUGA scan was similar to one I had for my thyroid, but lucky for me, the plates were over my chest instead of over my face! It was done in two parts, the first took about 11 minutes, then I could wiggle, and the second was for 9 minutes.
The PET scan was a totally new experience for me, but with a familiar face, that tight space didn't seem so small anymore! It took about 20 minutes, but I think it was good practice being still. I have a Breast MRI on Thursday and word on the street is that it takes 45 minutes!
All in all, it was a great day! I feel beyond blessed to have a friend like Heather, who even though we've only seen each other a handful of times since high school, went out of her way to meet us in the lobby, be the one to put my IV in, and be with me every step of the way today!
**Today, we also saw Dr. M, a fertility specialist, but that topic gets it's own post!
Within two minutes of sitting down (at the correct registration desk), we saw a familiar face! Heather, a friend from high school, is standing in front of us with the same smile that I always remember her having! It turns out that Heather would be doing my PET scan and was sweet enough to meet us for my MUGA scan, so she could be the one to put the IV in my arm. I am still PRAISING God for sending Heather, a familiar face, to me today! I can't even begin to tell you what a difference it made in my day! I was able to ask all my silly questions (and not feel so silly), Heather walked us through everything, never skipping a detail, and I knew I was in the best hands possible!
The MUGA scan was similar to one I had for my thyroid, but lucky for me, the plates were over my chest instead of over my face! It was done in two parts, the first took about 11 minutes, then I could wiggle, and the second was for 9 minutes.
The PET scan was a totally new experience for me, but with a familiar face, that tight space didn't seem so small anymore! It took about 20 minutes, but I think it was good practice being still. I have a Breast MRI on Thursday and word on the street is that it takes 45 minutes!
All in all, it was a great day! I feel beyond blessed to have a friend like Heather, who even though we've only seen each other a handful of times since high school, went out of her way to meet us in the lobby, be the one to put my IV in, and be with me every step of the way today!
**Today, we also saw Dr. M, a fertility specialist, but that topic gets it's own post!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
My first Marathon...
well, I wasn't actually running, but I was at UNC visiting a second team of doctors and with 5 appointments, I'll call it a medical marathon.
Thanks to my welcoming committee of two Shoffner girls, that are now Smith's, and my posse (Kelly and Jason) I brought with me, I was ready to tackle the day! A second mammogram was up first and another ultrasound! Then it was off to the "multi-disciplinary clinic" for the rest of the day and by rest of the day, we did literally shut the place down. I am lucky the lab tech took my blood because it was after 4:30 and let me just tell you, she was mad at somebody! Just thankful it wasn't me AND that she didn't take it out on my arm!
We stayed in one spot, which I guess was good, and all the doctors came to us! Meet the team, they gathered some info, examined me, and shared some info with us, but we were still missing my hormone receptors. Those hormone receptors were keeping everyone from forming a complete plan. Although there will be a few other tests done, NOTHING could be certain until we had them.
We were literally standing up, packed up, ready to walk out the door and Dr. M, medical oncologist, comes back in and has the missing piece to the puzzle in his hand! Even better, he has a copy for me too!
Again, if you'd like to borrow my new handy dandy dictionary, I'll share...
Estrogen Receptor Positive
Progesterone Receptor Positive
HER 2 Negative
So basically, this tells them that both estrogen and progesterone are fueling my tumor.
As soon as they knew this, they had a recommendation.
1. Chemotherapy: 8 infusions, 1 every other Monday
2. Surgery: lymph node dissection is a definite, time will tell if chemo shrinks the tumor for a lumpectomy or if a mastectomy is the way to go
3. Radiation: 6 weeks, 30 minutes a day (except Saturday and Sunday)
I left with a headache, Jason was starving, and Kelly had written page after page of notes! Important things are that we made it, we had finally received the receptors, and we knew a little more about what may be coming in the next few weeks and months.
Now we wait to hear from Randolph Hospital's tumor conference and then we will try to figure out the best way to kick this!
Thanks to my welcoming committee of two Shoffner girls, that are now Smith's, and my posse (Kelly and Jason) I brought with me, I was ready to tackle the day! A second mammogram was up first and another ultrasound! Then it was off to the "multi-disciplinary clinic" for the rest of the day and by rest of the day, we did literally shut the place down. I am lucky the lab tech took my blood because it was after 4:30 and let me just tell you, she was mad at somebody! Just thankful it wasn't me AND that she didn't take it out on my arm!
We stayed in one spot, which I guess was good, and all the doctors came to us! Meet the team, they gathered some info, examined me, and shared some info with us, but we were still missing my hormone receptors. Those hormone receptors were keeping everyone from forming a complete plan. Although there will be a few other tests done, NOTHING could be certain until we had them.
We were literally standing up, packed up, ready to walk out the door and Dr. M, medical oncologist, comes back in and has the missing piece to the puzzle in his hand! Even better, he has a copy for me too!
Again, if you'd like to borrow my new handy dandy dictionary, I'll share...
Estrogen Receptor Positive
Progesterone Receptor Positive
HER 2 Negative
So basically, this tells them that both estrogen and progesterone are fueling my tumor.
As soon as they knew this, they had a recommendation.
1. Chemotherapy: 8 infusions, 1 every other Monday
2. Surgery: lymph node dissection is a definite, time will tell if chemo shrinks the tumor for a lumpectomy or if a mastectomy is the way to go
3. Radiation: 6 weeks, 30 minutes a day (except Saturday and Sunday)
I left with a headache, Jason was starving, and Kelly had written page after page of notes! Important things are that we made it, we had finally received the receptors, and we knew a little more about what may be coming in the next few weeks and months.
Now we wait to hear from Randolph Hospital's tumor conference and then we will try to figure out the best way to kick this!
One down...
After feeling completely sick to my stomach and being an emotional wreck for most of the day, meeting Dr. L, a surgeon at Randolph Hospital, made it all go away! This was my first appointment after being told I had breast cancer! I would now get the chance to ask my questions and hopefully find out more.
Clinically (based on my mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsy) they say I have stage 2-B breast cancer in my right girl and my lymph nodes are involved. Don't ask me much about what that means, as my "breast cancer dictionary" is my friend and though I am happy to look it up for you, we are still learning all the lingo. I'll be honest, in my mind, I know there are four stages and mine was a two, so I'll take it!
Dr. L shared with us several possible plans, but until they had my hormone receptors back from the pathologist and they had a tumor conference about me, it was too soon to make a plan of attack.
At the end of the day Friday, I could only feel thankful! I was a wreck that morning and if I hadn't had that appointment, I would have been a wreck ALL WEEKEND! I asked my questions, found out a few more answers, and was happy to have my first ever appointment with a surgeon behind me.
Afterwards, we had a wonderful fun Friday at the Inman's and I was given my first bag of "pink goodies! A scarf, a t-shirt "Big or Small, Let's save them ALL," and a pink ribbon flag for my front steps! I LOVED it because we are embracing the pink and supporting breast cancer research in any way we can!
Clinically (based on my mammogram, ultrasound, and biopsy) they say I have stage 2-B breast cancer in my right girl and my lymph nodes are involved. Don't ask me much about what that means, as my "breast cancer dictionary" is my friend and though I am happy to look it up for you, we are still learning all the lingo. I'll be honest, in my mind, I know there are four stages and mine was a two, so I'll take it!
Dr. L shared with us several possible plans, but until they had my hormone receptors back from the pathologist and they had a tumor conference about me, it was too soon to make a plan of attack.
At the end of the day Friday, I could only feel thankful! I was a wreck that morning and if I hadn't had that appointment, I would have been a wreck ALL WEEKEND! I asked my questions, found out a few more answers, and was happy to have my first ever appointment with a surgeon behind me.
Afterwards, we had a wonderful fun Friday at the Inman's and I was given my first bag of "pink goodies! A scarf, a t-shirt "Big or Small, Let's save them ALL," and a pink ribbon flag for my front steps! I LOVED it because we are embracing the pink and supporting breast cancer research in any way we can!
Packing my Parachute
I love how God works, and He continues to shows me daily that there are many good things that will come from by fight against breast cancer! If you read my background story, it was a devotional about the lions in our lives that told me it was time to make an appointment with my doctor.
Well, the day after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I shared the news with my Facebook friends. Most of my family, my church family, and my closest friends already knew and we were all still digesting it. Posting on Facebook was something I was going to do, I believe in the power of prayer and I wanted my friends to hear it from me, the hardest part was finding words to do it.
I posted this:
"So there is absolutely no easy way to say this, I tried several different ways yesterday, and perhaps the best was "at least I look good in pink!" Yesterday started a journey that will be a tough fight, but one I am ready to face head-on with my God holding me in His hands and my family and friends by my side! The love that poured into my house and into my heart last night made me know for sure that I will beat breast cancer! Friends, please pray for God's healing, strength and courage in all the days ahead!"
Friends, whether you saw me that first night, called me, texted me, emailed me or communicated with me via Facebook, I found myself speachless at the love and support that was flooding into my inbox, my phone, but more importantly, my heart! I sat in bed that night, with tears running down my face and I honestly lacked the words to even tell Jason what I was feeling. I was 100% OVERWHELMED, but not by the word cancer, by YOU!!!!!
How would I ever be able to express my gratitude to everyone?? I couldn't even put a sentence together that would do justice to what I was feeling!
I was up early Friday morning, and one of the first things I do everyday, is read the Homeward Devotional that arrives in my inbox around 5:30am. The title was "Who Packs Your Parachute?" I don't know how to link you up to read it yourself, but it was about a jet fighter pilot in Vietnam, who after 75 combat missions, was hit by a surface-to-air missile. He ejected and parachuted into enemy hands and spent six years in a Communist prison. Well, many years later, while eating with his wife, this fighter pilot was recognized by another man. It was the man who had spent many hours, weaving and folding and who had in fact, held in his hands the fate of so many men that he didn't even know, countless times, as he packed their parachutes.
This devotional encouraged me, the reader, to thank those people who had recently "packed my parachute." Well, all of you, my friends and family, have done just that! My parachute is full of encouragement, love, and promises from God, all things that I will cling to as I fight this fight! Without my parachute, I would have fallen fast into a dark place where the word cancer would have consumed my every thought!
I am eternally grateful for ALL of my "parachute packers" as I have your love, your support and your words of encouragement to bring me down, on the other side of this as a SURVIVOR of breast cancer!
Sending my love to you all!
Well, the day after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I shared the news with my Facebook friends. Most of my family, my church family, and my closest friends already knew and we were all still digesting it. Posting on Facebook was something I was going to do, I believe in the power of prayer and I wanted my friends to hear it from me, the hardest part was finding words to do it.
I posted this:
"So there is absolutely no easy way to say this, I tried several different ways yesterday, and perhaps the best was "at least I look good in pink!" Yesterday started a journey that will be a tough fight, but one I am ready to face head-on with my God holding me in His hands and my family and friends by my side! The love that poured into my house and into my heart last night made me know for sure that I will beat breast cancer! Friends, please pray for God's healing, strength and courage in all the days ahead!"
Friends, whether you saw me that first night, called me, texted me, emailed me or communicated with me via Facebook, I found myself speachless at the love and support that was flooding into my inbox, my phone, but more importantly, my heart! I sat in bed that night, with tears running down my face and I honestly lacked the words to even tell Jason what I was feeling. I was 100% OVERWHELMED, but not by the word cancer, by YOU!!!!!
How would I ever be able to express my gratitude to everyone?? I couldn't even put a sentence together that would do justice to what I was feeling!
I was up early Friday morning, and one of the first things I do everyday, is read the Homeward Devotional that arrives in my inbox around 5:30am. The title was "Who Packs Your Parachute?" I don't know how to link you up to read it yourself, but it was about a jet fighter pilot in Vietnam, who after 75 combat missions, was hit by a surface-to-air missile. He ejected and parachuted into enemy hands and spent six years in a Communist prison. Well, many years later, while eating with his wife, this fighter pilot was recognized by another man. It was the man who had spent many hours, weaving and folding and who had in fact, held in his hands the fate of so many men that he didn't even know, countless times, as he packed their parachutes.
This devotional encouraged me, the reader, to thank those people who had recently "packed my parachute." Well, all of you, my friends and family, have done just that! My parachute is full of encouragement, love, and promises from God, all things that I will cling to as I fight this fight! Without my parachute, I would have fallen fast into a dark place where the word cancer would have consumed my every thought!
I am eternally grateful for ALL of my "parachute packers" as I have your love, your support and your words of encouragement to bring me down, on the other side of this as a SURVIVOR of breast cancer!
Sending my love to you all!
Holding me in His hands
I planned to work Tuesday, but the more I moved and the fact that I am not a great patient, let's just say I didn't make it. You can ask Jason for more details! ;-)
Wednesday, I was determined to go. Thankfully, Sawyer had spent the night with GiGi and Pappy, so I only had to get myself ready and out the door. With Jason's help, we both made it out the door and that's when the Almighty took over.
There is no way possible that I drove to school that morning. One hand was holding on to my girl, because there must have been 1,000 bumps and potholes between my house and Andrews, and the other was on the wheel, but my mind was on the phone call I would be receiving!
As all my teacher friends know, it doesn't take long to get consumed with school, from the moment you walk in the door. So I hit the ground running and that was a good thing. Text messages were pouring in, my co-workers were fabulous, my friend Carlos even came and sat beside me at one point and said nothing at all!
At 2:30, still nothing, so I paged the radiologist and at 2:41pm, my phone rang. There was small talk at first, but then "do you have a few mintues, your pathology report is back?"
I heard "BREAST CANCER" and I am honestly not sure what else I heard, but I did write some things down. I hugged my friend Leisa before I left and I got in the car to call Jason.
Words can't describe the way I felt when I had to call the people I love most and tell them I have breast cancer! But calls I made, tears running down my face, trying to wrap my brain, my arms and my heart around my new reality.
I walked in my house, to see the man I love in the kitchen and I asked him the one question I needed to ask him...when he said "YES," that was all I needed to hear from him.
Love came pouring into my house, I am not even sure how so many people got here as fast as they did. We cried, we laughed, we cried some more!
At the end of that day, there were several things that I knew for sure:
*Oddly enough, it was better to know that I had breast cancer than to wait for the phone to ring
*When the people you love are around you, you feel like you can do anything!
*Most importantly, I know that my God holds me in HIS hands and this news was no surprise to him!
More than I bargained for
I was prepared for a mammogram and ultrasound, scheduled for 1:50 on Monday, February 20. My doctor is in Asheboro, so my tests were taking place at the Outpatient Center at Randolph Hospital. Lucky for me, Kelly, the best big sister in the world, works there and was meeting me for my appointments.
I am not sure if I should use names, but everyone I came in contact with was wonderful! I would hug the necks of the ultrasound tech and radiologist if given the opportunity. It can't be easy to have the conversations they have with people, and they were kind, patient, and gentle with their words and their actions. Oh, and the girls doing the mammograms, sweetest things! How could I not love someone who tells me she has a daughter named Suzanne??
We went back first for the mammogram. By we, I mean me and the "girls," not sure what I shall call the right breast, but breast just isn't going to work for me! They checked both girls, but it wasn't so bad. Definitely an interesting experience, but one I will highly recommend to all the women in my life!
After the mammogram, came the ultrasound. The radiologist shared with us that the lump was not filled with fluid, instead it had tissue inside and the lymph node under my right arm was also swollen. She wanted to do a biopsy of both. I turned and looked at Kelly, this was WAY more than I had prepared for mentally! A mammogram and ultrasound shouldn't be so bad, but remember, I am 30 and I felt a lump myself, so for this girl, these were nerve racking procedures! The thought of going home and coming back Wednesday for a biopsy, was NOT an option. Luckily they were able to do the biopsy right then. We had missed the 3pm cut-off time for things going to pathology, so I wouldn't get my results back the next day, I would have to wait until Wednesday. I was nervous, I was tense, I was starting to feel sick!
Kelly calls Jason, but for those of you who know him, you know he would say do whatever we needed to do. He would have been there if we had known about the biopsy, but we had no idea. So, the biopsy takes place, my right girl went first, which wasn't so bad, but the underarm, that was another story! Can we say OUCH?
After the biopsy, they wanted another mammogram because they had inserted a clip to "mark the spot" to help if surgery was needed. It wasn't bad, I was still numb, but I was ready to get out of there! So off we went, with ice packs inserted in all necessary places, post-biopsy instructions, and a lot more than I had bargained for!
I am not sure if I should use names, but everyone I came in contact with was wonderful! I would hug the necks of the ultrasound tech and radiologist if given the opportunity. It can't be easy to have the conversations they have with people, and they were kind, patient, and gentle with their words and their actions. Oh, and the girls doing the mammograms, sweetest things! How could I not love someone who tells me she has a daughter named Suzanne??
We went back first for the mammogram. By we, I mean me and the "girls," not sure what I shall call the right breast, but breast just isn't going to work for me! They checked both girls, but it wasn't so bad. Definitely an interesting experience, but one I will highly recommend to all the women in my life!
After the mammogram, came the ultrasound. The radiologist shared with us that the lump was not filled with fluid, instead it had tissue inside and the lymph node under my right arm was also swollen. She wanted to do a biopsy of both. I turned and looked at Kelly, this was WAY more than I had prepared for mentally! A mammogram and ultrasound shouldn't be so bad, but remember, I am 30 and I felt a lump myself, so for this girl, these were nerve racking procedures! The thought of going home and coming back Wednesday for a biopsy, was NOT an option. Luckily they were able to do the biopsy right then. We had missed the 3pm cut-off time for things going to pathology, so I wouldn't get my results back the next day, I would have to wait until Wednesday. I was nervous, I was tense, I was starting to feel sick!
Kelly calls Jason, but for those of you who know him, you know he would say do whatever we needed to do. He would have been there if we had known about the biopsy, but we had no idea. So, the biopsy takes place, my right girl went first, which wasn't so bad, but the underarm, that was another story! Can we say OUCH?
After the biopsy, they wanted another mammogram because they had inserted a clip to "mark the spot" to help if surgery was needed. It wasn't bad, I was still numb, but I was ready to get out of there! So off we went, with ice packs inserted in all necessary places, post-biopsy instructions, and a lot more than I had bargained for!
A little background...
Although I first noticed a lump in my right breast back in December, it wasn't until February 16, that I decided to "face the lions." I was never a faithful, monthly, give yourself a breast exam kind of girl, but something made me check in December and I felt something. It was near that good old time of the month, so I didn't think much about it. December was busy, the new year came and my Dad was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia, there were just more important things going on!
It was still there though, every time I would check. To be honest, I was starting to worry! So when I click to open my daily devotional from Homeward, the morning of February 16, the title was "Surviving the Lions." Of course, this devotional was about Daniel and how he ended up the lions den and though we will not actually face real lions, we all face hard times in our life. The last line of the devotion said this:
With your trust placed firmly in God and His power to deliver, you too can survive the "lions" you face.
As soon as the clock read 8:00am, I was on the phone with my doctor's office making an appointment to face my "lion." I was able to get an appointment for the following morning, a Friday, and my doctor felt exactly what I had been feeling. A mammogram and ultrasound were scheduled for Monday, February 20.
This is where MY story begins, which surprised me, my family, and my friends, but this was not a surprise to my God!
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest."
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)